The Practice of Being Real
April 8, 2020
Welcome everyone! It is nice to be writing again. I have missed my practice of sitting down and gifting myself a few hours of time to journal, be creative, and get real with myself and ultimately you. There has been a lot going on—not just for me, but for everyone on the planet. We are all experiencing a strange and unsettling time. So, let me start this blog post by saying that I hope this finds all of you healthy, safe, and as real as you are able to be with everything that is going on.
Sometimes I Want To Hide!
I have discovered recently that as much as I try to live authentically, there are absolutely times when I hide what is really going on with me emotionally from the world and from myself. Sometimes, I think we all feel that it is easier to pretend that we are not bothered by the actions of another person or the immensity of the crisis we all find ourselves in. However, deep down I know that it is not my essential nature to hold feelings down or turn away from them.
When I am feeling confused, depressed, or melancholic, I discover that I have been turning away from whatever is real for me. It is in these moments that I have a choice. I can continue in my spiral of misunderstanding or I can choose to turn toward my inner truth—what is real for me at this time. Turning toward what is real always feels like the most challenging decision. It feels hard and uncomfortable. Yet, I have learned that once I turn toward my fear, my hurt, my grief, I begin to heal.
My struggle with being real goes back to childhood. It might for you too. It has always felt so dangerous to speak up and tell our truth. I have worried whether or not I would be accepted or appreciated if I spoke up and stated when I felt frustration or offense in response to another’s actions. So, I have subconsciously made the decision to not speak up from time to time and to deny what is real for me.
Be Courageous and Lean In to Your Emotions
Recently, I experienced an emotional letting go that, truth be told, felt good. It felt like a huge sigh of relief. I not only expressed my emotions, but I said aloud how I felt about something that occurred over a year ago. It was a bit freeing. So, I have made the decision, for what feels like the hundredth time, to practice being real in my everyday life. I am going to choose to use my energy to express when I feel hurt as opposed to the energy that it takes to withhold this truth. I will declare whatever is true and real for me going forward. I will share with Kim, my partner, or friends and family when I am feeling scared, uncertain, or hopeless.
I cherish realness and I cherish courage. I truly believe that it is an act of courage to be real in your words and in your actions. I want relationships with others that are real and that are based on substance. I don’t want to feel concern that my reality, no matter what it is, will be met with displeasure. I choose to no longer imprison what is real for me for fear of how the other person will respond. I choose to be me! I choose to be real!
Because at the end of the day, I am going to live with myself. Therefore, I would rather live with myself unfiltered and truthful. After all, I believe when we are being raw and our most real and true selves, our spirit shines.
Permission to Be Real
I thank you all for listening to my ponderings. Please join me not in wallowing in our emotions but in simply speaking from our hearts and allowing ourselves to be real human beings.
Are you having difficulty stating your feelings out loud? Please know that I am here and more than willing to support you in your process of becoming real.
SLIDING SCALE IN EFFECT FOR EVERYONE THROUGH JUNE!!
As a result of this strange and uncertain time that we are all living in, I wanted to let you know that I will be coaching on Zoom, Skype, or over the phone. I also wanted to alert you that I will have a sliding scale in place for anyone who desires support at this time. This will be in place through the end of June. It is important to me that humans are here for one another. Therefore, my door is open to you or anyone you know who desires support. We will figure out a way to make it work. And I truly believe that we will get through this TOGETHER!
Hopefully, you all have been doing things that have been helping you ground yourselves and bring some level of peace to your lives. I have been meditating, walking outside, gardening, and connecting with loved ones. There are a host of lovely offerings by a number of great thinkers from Kristin Neff and Lynne Twist to Brené Brown and Deepak Chopra. I encourage you to find something that you can tune into at least once per week that provides you with comfort and support.
Additionally, I am a big fan of laughter! Try to have fun and laugh every single day! I saw this yesterday and I think it’s quite brilliant. Thanks, John Krasinski, for offering us “Some Good News,” which is his new show on YouTube dedicated to good news!